Life is a continuous exercise of improvement. We all want to achieve the maximum happiness possible, and we know that this happens to be better people, but we often fail to focus our vital decisions. In general, people do not consciously act unfairly –or directly badly– with their peers: they do so because they believe they are doing the right thing, even if it is not, or because they have not assessed the consequences that their decisions have on others. people. Many times we are so wrapped up in achieving success (at all levels), that we forget to improve the way we treat others, and ourselves. We will never be happy if we don’t manage to be better people first and goodness, like everything in this life, can be educated and trained.These are five aspects that you must take into account to be a better person and achieve true happiness.
Work on gratitude and altruism
The saying goes that “it is well born to be grateful”, what it does not say is that, in addition to being positive for those around us, gratitude is a powerful tool to feel good about ourselves and likewise the aspect of our character more strongly associated with life satisfaction . Gratitude can help us overcome trauma and stress, increases our self-esteem, and helps us dissolve negative emotions.
The greatest expression of gratitude is altruism: doing good without expecting anything in return. Numerous studies have shown that solidarity is directly related to well-being, health, and longevity. Acts of kindness make us feel good about ourselves, and the positive emotions we generate make us more psychologically and physically resilient. Therefore, volunteering is one of the healthiest activities that older people can do .
Keep your social networks in good condition
We are not referring to being on Facebook all day, but to maintaining the connection with our friends, family, neighbors and co-workers. Good friends must take care of themselves so as not to get lost and the capacity of friendship to generate happiness in our environment is well known. Depression rates have been growing steadily for 50 years and one of its main causes is loneliness. You may believe that you only need your partner, your parents and the odd friend to be happy, but the truth is that selfishness and negligence in matters of friendship pays dearly. Not surprisingly, having neglected our friendships, losing contact with them, is one of the aspects that we regret the most on our deathbed .
Be optimistic
Pessimistic people are not worse people, but almost unconsciously they tend to create a demotivating environment that is not beneficial for themselves or for the people around them. If we want to improve as people, and be happier, we must therefore work on our attitude towards life, something much studied in recent years by positive psychology. As this current of psychology promulgates, happiness is not something that can be achieved: it is not a goal, it is a state that must be trained every day . Deep down, everything that surrounds us can have a negative reading, especially in these days when pessimism is overwhelming.If we do not look for an optimistic reading of things, unhappiness will be a constant and we will infect our loved ones.
Optimism can be worked on by following three practical tips. Try to focus your time and energy on things you have control over,If events overwhelm you, ask for help or change your strategy, but do not stagnate: perfectionism is a great source of pessimism. Secondly, if you have to face a complicated or directly fateful situation (such as the death of a loved one), think that better times will come, and give hope to your loved ones. Finally, make an effort to distinguish the different facets of life. Try so that the disagreements that, for example, may arise at work do not affect you in your day-to-day family life, and vice versa. This is very important if you want to take care of the people around you, be it your family, your friends, or your co-workers, who do not have to put up with someone in a bad mood for matters that are out of their reach and that, in the bottom, do not concern them.
Give less importance to material aspects
Psychology has repeatedly shown that money does not make you happy, and while the expression has become an unconvincing cliché, the data shows that, after a point, material well-being bears no relation to our happiness. If we put our illusion in the hands of material aspects, the most likely thing is that we will create chronic unhappiness, because we will never have enough things.
One of the aspects most studied by philosophy, religion and, today, by positive psychology, is what we know as “the meaning of life”. What do we want to achieve as we go through it? What are our goals? The fall of the great ideologies and the decline of religions have caused an absence of vital meaning that in Western societies is almost pathological. We must ask ourselves daily what we want to achieve in our lives and, surely, we will realize that material aspects do not have any importance in the ultimate sense of life. Happy people have values to uphold and goals that are worth working for.
Do what you love
It doesn’t matter how much money you earn: you will never be happy if you spend your time doing something you don’t like. It is clear that not everyone is lucky enough to work in what is most attractive to them, but we can all change for the better. For this we must work on self-efficacy: the confidence and conviction that it is possible to achieve the expected results for each proposed goal. Obviously, we are not going to achieve everything we set out to do, but the problem for many people is that they do not even consider changing , for fear of facing the difficulties that may arise, and they end up generating non-existent problems.
This advice should not be applied only to our work. Perhaps, as things are, it is unrealistic to find a more interesting position than the one we have (although we can do our job in a way that is more satisfying to us ), but we can do what we really like in our spare time. According to a Japanese study carried out among retirees, the mortality rate is significantly lower in those people who practice a specific hobby . The equation is simple: if what we do fills us, we will be happier, and this happiness will spread to our environment. It is very easy to distinguish a person who is doing what he likes: he radiates happiness and is contagious with optimism.