Eat at a restaurant instead of hauling take-out back to your place. Join a gym instead of exercising around your living room to workout videos on YouTube. Out in the world is where you’ll have your first incidental conversations, start to recognize people who have the same routine as you, and even get your first invite. I’ve had to start over in a new city where I haven’t known anyone a few times in my life.
- In all the hustle and bustle of your new life, you may forget that exercise is often also about community.
- “Our brains are having to adjust to so much, we’re craving comfort,” said Debra Joy, a Santa Monica, California-based life coach.
- You’ll have to navigate a new grocery store, learn a new street map, and scope out a new coffee shop or go-to dive bar.
- Lifehacker has been a go-to source of tech help and life advice since 2005.
- The league will put you on one, giving you the unique opportunity to meet people with different backgrounds and interests.
Making good friends really isn’t that different from romantic dating, so fingers crossed they feel that chemistry too. Kate approached the challenge of making new friends as a ‘befriending campaign’, where she would chase meaningful connections and didn’t allow herself to fall back into patterns of ‘safety behaviour’. It’s never going to be easy starting from friendship ground zero in a how to make friends when you work from home brand new location – cut yourself some slack. Set up another ‘friend date’ instead of expecting that one coffee to make a friendship happen. ‘I had one friend but he had his own life, girlfriend, job etc. so I would take it really personally when he couldn’t see me. For Carly, a lonely job held her back from making friends for a good two years when she moved from Portsmouth to Cardiff.
Join a social club.
Michael, an immigrant from Syria who moved to Phoenix, can attest to the importance of being flexible. He prides himself on being someone who can get along with anyone—although he still has his deal-breakers, like racism and disrespecting waitstaff. Because others are sometimes wary of him because of his Syrian background, he knows how it feels to be cast aside. So when it comes to making friends, he doesn’t have stringent “disregard criteria”—snap judgments used to exclude someone as a potential friend. He’ll make friends with retirees, people who have kids, or drive his Uber—that’s how he ended up hanging out with a bus driver who spent their time together picking up women. The important thing about making friends in a new city is being flexible, or open to “locationships”—friendships that are sustained simply because you’re in the same place at the same time.
So, I took the plunge and walked into a mixed martial arts gym. I didn’t know anyone and I was one of three women in the whole place. Sure, but the good news about an event like New2Lou is that everyone’s in a similar situation.
Volunteer in the community
Community events happen more often than you think, and they’re a really good time. Participating in local movie and TV screenings, block parties, or trivia nights are all great ways to meet new people. Your weekly hobbies could be huge pools for potential friends.